


Shared Happiness

by PaleEmeraldNebula



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 16:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaleEmeraldNebula/pseuds/PaleEmeraldNebula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose wakes one morning a few weeks after Bad Wolf Bay, content with life, and wonders if the Doctor is happy too. Only way she'll know for certain is to ask him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shared Happiness

A bright, calming ray of morning light descended on Rose, nudging her awake reluctantly. Once she opened her eyes she was greeted by the familiar bare chest of the Doctor. She watched the chest rise and fall and decided she did not want to move. After a few seconds went by, Rose closed her eyes and stretched, glued to her spot, too contented to stay in bed forever with her Doctor. He tightened his hold on her shoulder as she groggily looked up at him with a large smile, not even surprised to see he was already awake and smiling back.

“Hello!” His voice was always full of excitement for every coming day, just enough to almost make her a morning person. Almost.

“Hello yourself. How long you been awake? Nevermind, you've probably been awake for hours.”

“Aww, come on. New day ahead, lots of unknown parts just waiting to be discovered. Plus there’s me, figured you’d be delighted by now to wake to this pretty face every morning.”

“I am, but just not,” Rose turned to see the clock on the bed side table and groaned, “at six in the mornin’.”

“Don’t want to sleep the day away now. Early worm catches the bird,” the Doctor paused for just a tick, “No wait, it’s the other way around. Sorry.” The Doctor was grinning like a school boy promised with candy, filled with new, new innuendo and never ending joy. He was almost always like this, every morning, without fail. He was always so  _happy_.

Rose stared at him and suddenly she felt very awake. Her smile began to slowly fade. Was he though? For as long as she’d known him, he tended to hide behind high emotional walls, even during the best of times. Only way at this point in their relationship to ever really know was to ask him and hoped he’d tell her the truth. She was getting really good at spotting his lies now.

“Are you happy?” Rose felt a small ball of nervousness form in the deepest part of her stomach.

The Doctor though, didn’t miss a beat. He looked confused for only a moment. “Happy? Course I’m happy. I’ve got a perfectly perfect baby TARDIS growing and will be ready before I get old and grey. I’ve got a whole new universe to explore with bits and pieces that will be absolutely different! Everything is new! Plus she’s not stolen this time around. I’ve got a family. Never thought I’d have one of those again.” The Doctor’s voice lowered to almost a whisper at the last part. He quickly glanced at the window just in front of their bed and his face took on that knowingly sad expression of far off losses.

Suddenly he was looking at her again with a genuine smile that lit up his face, “I’m off at two in the morning getting a taxi after a night out. Not the boring night out, mind, with just dancing and the like. Waking up in a normal human house and not wanting to get out of bed, which is completely new for me. This, this is the adventure I thought I could never have. Plus I’ve got brilliant company. The best really. One of the reasons I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning.”  The Doctor’s flirty smile stalled and he stared back Rose as if she were a puzzle, almost as if he only just noticed her nervousness. “Are  _you_  happy?”

Rose didn’t even need to think about the question. He wasn’t lying and her nervousness began to dissipate. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest, unable to contain another smile. “Hmm. Very.”

“What’s this then? Why the sudden question on happiness? Something wrong?” Now he sounded worried.

Ever since Rose asked the Doctor if he was happy, another thought had crept into her mind. It wasn’t just that she was worried that he would lie to her or that he wasn’t happy. It wasn’t just him she was worried about and part of the reason she was nervous was because she didn’t want to bring it up. She was thinking about someone else’s happiness. “No. Nothing wrong really…just been thinking.” 

“Oh, that’s never good.” The Doctor joked and immediately she felt a little of her nervousness float away.

“Shut up.” She sat up and nudged him playfully with her shoulder. It didn’t take long for her to become serious. “I’ve-I’ve just been thinking about… the other you. Do you think he’s happy? Is it alright I’m asking this?”

“No, no, and I don’t mean about the happiness question. No, no, no, it’s perfectly fine, asking me this. I’ve actually been thinking the same thing. Knowing me, and there isn’t anyone else who would know me better than me, I’ve been wondering how I’m getting along on the other side of the void. Not having what I have.” The Doctor’s eyes wandered fully over Rose, then the room, and then he looked at her directly. He sounded robotically somber with his thoughts. “I think I’m fine. Should be, really. Been doing the same thing for close to a thousand years now and I’ve learned a thing or two.”

Rose held on to his stare, not sure if he was telling her the whole truth while wanting to know a way to make it better. “Is there…some way to let him know? That we’re happy? Would that be okay? That wouldn’t make it worse or anything, would it?”

Furrowing his brows the Doctor frowned. “No, don’t think it would. Only questions is, how?”

“Don’t know, you’ve must got some alien thing I don’t know about. Some telepathic link or some such?”

His face was overtaken by his insanely rich smile, a habit she loved and it was completely infectious. “Oh, that is brilliant Rose Tyler. Absolutely, wonderfully genius. No wonder I haven’t gotten tired of you.”

“Oi!” Rose pretended to look affronted.

The Doctor was obviously giddy. “We can try. Or more like, I can try sending him a message across the void, Time Lord to Time Lord. Well, part Time Lord to Time Lord, but that’s just a small technicality. It shouldn’t be dangerous, I think. Never really crossed my mind to do something like this, never really had the need or want.”

“Dangerous?” Concern had replaced nervousness now.

“Shouldn’t be, but you never know when the void is involved. Now that I think about it, should be zero. Oh, this will be fun. It’s completely unknown if telepathic abilities work across universes and we’ll be the first to know if such a thing exists! Actually, he’ll be the first to know if it actually works. Time Lords never bothered with these things since way back when they could come and go between universes easily enough. Would be handy if we ever need an extra pair of helping hands, more like extra pair of minds, but you know what I mean.”

Reassured, Rose let out a pent up sigh. “Well, I hope it works then. Maybe it’ll be a comfort knowing…I mean, him knowing that we’re happy.”

“Oh, he knows already, even if it doesn’t. But a little reassure never hurts.” He winked and it gave her just the right tingle.

Rose watched the Doctor’s face change to one of concentration as he closed his eyes. He was completely still and focused, and his breathing was deep and measured. Distractedly, she couldn’t help but focus on his chest, rising and falling with each breath, still bare and completely accessible to her touch. She licked her lips before looking back at his face, which was now staring right back at her.

She tried to stay on topic. “Did you do it?”

“Yep.” He seemed to be just as distracted. She was, after all, just as bare as he was.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“How do we know it worked?”

“We don’t, though if he got the message, he’ll probably try to send one back…unless he’s busy, or forgets. I’ve been known to forget to call back once or twice.”

“Yeah, I know that one.” She rolled her eyes at all the memories of calls she never received back and leaned in closer to him, settling to become snug and comfortable. “Alright then, I guess we wait.”

The Doctor wrapped both his arms around her, squeezing her tight, while he tilted his head so his lips could almost touch her ear. “And in the mean time we should make ourselves useful. We’ve got a lovely comfortable bed that looks hardly used. I think we should give it a proper ‘just been slept in, among other things’ look. It’s not a homey domestic bed if it looks like something from a store-room display.”

Rose bit her lip, knowing where his thoughts had turned to. She lowered her voice into a tempting whisper. “How’d ya like to accomplish  _that_ , Doctor?”

He grinned again and turned his head so his lips where just above hers. “Oh, I’ll think of a way.”

Rose half yelped, half laughed as he quickly and playfully rolled them so he could be on top of her.

–––––––––

The TARDIS was silent, filled with only the soft buzzing and humming of the ship. But the Doctor’s mind wasn’t silent. It was raging with his oncoming death. He didn’t want to go, but he had no choice. Oh, so many possibilities, so many adventures he was never going to get in this body. He was so alone, so, so alone. He’d lost Rose, he’d lost Donna, he’d lost Martha, he’d lost everyone. He’d lost so much. Now he was losing love and friendships and missed opportunities and missed chances to see things from these pair of eyes that had once found love, joy, and romance. He didn’t want to become someone else, who might not see the things as he sees them. But he was dying and he couldn’t stop it.

Despair was leaking out of him just as much as his regeneration cells. Everything felt like it was leaving him, from both his hearts. Emotion was shipping out, not wanting to be part of him anymore. Tears were just as frantic to leave him. He was terrified. What would he become like this?

Softly, he felt a tug within an unknown part of him. It was happiness. Somewhere in him, happiness was still left. Oh, he couldn’t figure out it now. No, not when the whole world was crashing in around him, not when who he was was slowly running away from him.

“I don’t want to go.”

And the TARDIS began to groan and crack. The silence became a storm as the Doctor’s thoughts began to bleed out. He was changing, he was screaming and somewhere, someone was holding his hand, telling him that there was still happiness. And that it would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd, first work for the Doctor Who Fandom. Slightly changed from first draft.


End file.
